Thursday, April 16, 2015

I didn't give "Birth" I had a C-Section.

Has anyone else seen that Facebook page floating around tauting C-section mothers didn't give birth, they caught a lucky break?  After I did a little research, it is speculated to be a satire page, however, someone somewhere had this thought, made a page and created lovely images to post and then hid behind the guise of a religious I direct this blog to them, and the over 900 people who have liked the page, satire or not.

I would first like to provide to these enlightened people this little piece of's called a definition:



an act or instance of being born:
the day of his birth.
the act or process of bearing or bringing forth offspring; childbirth;parturition:
a difficult birth.
lineage; extraction; descent:
of Grecian birth.
high or noble lineage:
to be foolishly vain about one's birth.
natural heritage:
a musician by birth.
any coming into existence; origin; beginning:
the birth of Protestantism; the birth of an idea.
Archaic. something that is born.

While I do not see the word "vagina" or "vaginal"  in these definitions, your page has obviously applied that necessary attribute to support your banter. So you know what, to make this easy on your very narrow minds, I say this to you: I will let you be right.  You can have the word "birth", you keep on ignorantly using the word incorrectly and try to peddle around your ridiculous rhetoric. You know why? 

Because having that word is just semantics.

I have my experience, which is my own, no one else's, as is every birth story.  Some go perfectly, some go horribly and most don't seem to go as expected.  That's the funny thing about having a baby, it's really all about the baby at that point and any picture you have in your head gets thrown out the window to bring this little life into the world safely.  My story was less than ideal and actually I had a lot of guilt about it.  I wanted more than anything to have a natural, vaginal birth, you know, the "real way" as you so eloquently put it...more than anything.  But Piper had other plans, with her ginormous head and sunny-side up placement.  So give "birth" I didn't do, as your page so kindly points out. I did, however, do something, because babies don't just poof into existence, if they don't come out of your vagina, so here is what I did do:

I created a human being, in my body for 9 months. A wonderful, spunky, stubborn, funny little girl.  I nourished her and brought her to the point of birth.  I labored for 19 hours, intense, induced laboring that brought my will to it's knees.  I went through almost 4 hours of active pushing. I was hanging from the rafters trying to get her to pass through my canal, but that wasn't going to happen, my birth canal just wasn't big enough to let through her 98% head. So you are right I "didn't have what it took to get the job done".  Oh, I also don't have what it takes to be a man, because my body wasn't born with a penis...boy does that sound stupid and irrelevant? Hmm. Anywho, so I then had to go through prep for a c-section, while still in active labor to then be wheeled to an operating room so my daughter could join our family.  I didn't "give birth" in your very skewed depiction of the experience, I had surgery, full blown, cut open on an operating table, surgery...oh and by the way, I was awake.  Laying there as they pushed and pulled and moved my organs around to get to my baby.  All the while waiting, like every other mother, for that baby to cry. Cry she did, but I couldn't bend over or sit up to grab her and hold her and cuddle her immediately, no I was strapped down, because I was shaking so bad from the surgery and the cold (god it's cold in those rooms). So instead I lay there waiting to just see a glimpse of her, which took, what seemed like forever, waiting for them to weigh her and clean her and wrap her up, and even then, I didn't get to hold her, she was handed to my husband and all I could do was turn my head and gaze upon her beauty.  So when you say, I "caught a lucky break," you're right there too. I was super lucky to be in a wonderful hospital, with trained people who knew what to do when I "couldn't get the job done" so that Piper would live. I was very, very lucky that I had an option before things got dangerous for my baby. But, my experience wasn't done yet, no, I then had to lay there while they continued to press and remove air and then go through the long, long, long process of being sewn back up.  I didn't get to stay in my room and "birth" my baby and then enjoy.  I had to go into recovery, because as I stated before, I had full blown surgery.  The reality is I was going through this amazing experience and I was recovering from a very invasive procedure. But I did it, because that is what becoming a mother is about.  Selflessness, and putting my needs aside to tend to this little life that just ended up in my arms and built our family +1.

So you can say I didn't give "birth", I'll let you, because I know what I did.  What I won't let you do is take away the "experience" every mother goes through to bring their child into the world.  That I won't allow.  I also will not agree with any type of comparison or claim that one "experience" is superior, harder or better than the other. Because what really happens when a baby is delivered is a world-changing, life-altering, amazing, wonderful experience that brought me my child, that grew my family and created a love I never knew was possible. That is what almost all mother's walk away with, how we got there is details, and with your thinking, semantics and frankly none of your business.

So, that is it! Giving "birth" is a word. And we, we as mother's who support each other and are there for each other, we are above a word. So you can have it. Because what you will never be able to have is our experiences. 

And now a note to any Mommy reading this:

No matter how your baby came into this world, I salute you. That is some experience you had and I hope you never let anyone or group take away an iota of what you went through! 

Because no matter what your experience was, it was real, it was valid and it was amazing!


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